Understanding the Role of a Wedding Officiant

THE question has been popped and now it’s time to start planning your dream wedding! There are so many things that go into planning a wedding, from the attire and music to the vendors. Let me tell you that a wedding planner and day of coordinator are essential! But one question that often comes up is, do we have a friend get ordained? Or do we hire an officiant?

Before we can answer that question, we must first look at the role of the officiant.

The officiant plays a pivotal role in this day. I mean, without the officiant, the wedding is just one big party, right? The officiant is just there to read from a paper or tablet, and to sign the ‘official’ paperwork, right? NOPE….

Put simply, the wedding officiant is the individual who is legally authorized to perform marriage ceremonies. They can be religious leaders, civil servants, notaries (depending on the state you’re in), or even a friend or family member. Regardless of the title or background the officiant holds, they are entrusted with the task of performing the wedding ceremony, legally binding the couple, and hopefully creating a memorable experience. (Tears are a good thing, usually)

The officiant should be ensuring that the ceremony reflects the couple, their values, their beliefs, and personalities. While everyone does it a little different, I would like to explain how I run the wedding officiant side of my business.

Your wedding is the celebration of you and your significant other, and it should reflect that. I will always remind couples that your wedding is about you as your soon to be betrothed, the guests that are present at your wedding, are there to celebrate YOU.  

I always book a video call with my couples to make sure we get along and vibe. I personally do not perform religious ceremonies, as I feel it takes away from the sentiment for the couple who wants the religious ceremony. I will not take the job just for the money. I got into this industry to make sure that couples could have the wedding they want, regardless of what is considered ‘socially acceptable’ or ‘traditional’. It’s okay to break away from ‘the expected’ and do what you and your spouse want.

After the video call, I give the couple some time to talk it over and decide whether we’re a good fit. If we are, I ask that you fill out the booking form and retainer, ensuring that your day is booked! (I never schedule more than one ceremony in a day)

One to two months before your wedding, I will send you an email with some questions to help me to craft the perfect ceremony that reflects your love story. I will send it back to you as a draft, and ask that you make any changes you’d like, after all, this is your wedding, and you only have one.

If the couple wants to do their own vows but needs help with crafting them, I am always available to help. I do not restrict the number of contacts my couples have with me. When you’re booked, you have my cell phone number and can call or text me whenever you’d like (I sleep with my volume up, so I promise you won’t wake me at 2am).

Rehearsal

I don’t always attend rehearsals, but if you’d like me there, I will be there. Make sure this is preplanned when you book my services. We will walk through the ceremony and placement of the wedding party, and I will be available to answer any questions.

Wedding Day 

After the ceremony it’s time to make sure that all legal paperwork is completed accurately and submitted on time. In Oregon, the marriage license must be returned within 5 business days. I always offer to mail the license back to the county, but if the couple needs it returned urgently for travel purposes, I suggest they return it to the county and they can get a certified copy immediately.

The Impact of a Thoughtful Officiant

A good wedding officiant will make sure their role extends far beyond the ceremony itself. I really like to connect with the couple and create a meaningful experience that will leave a lasting impact on everyone. A well-crafted ceremony, punctuated with personal touches and heartfelt words, can set the tone for the couple's marriage journey, reminding them of the love and commitment they share.

Remember that this is your ceremony and there is absolutely nothing wrong with changing the script or asking for unique things. I have done weddings under a waterfall at the end of December. I have done a wedding where the couple was nude. I have dressed up as Professor McGonagall, or a witch, and I have certainly said the weird stuff. These are all amazing ceremonies where the couples embraced their non-traditional wedding dreams and we worked together to make them come true.

As wedding officiants, we are not just the person who pronounces you married; we are the weaver of love stories, the orchestrator of emotions, and the guardian of cherished memories. From legalities to sentiments, our role is a pivotal figure who ensures that the wedding day is a true reflection of the couple's journey and the love they share.

I decided to start blogging to provide access to educational information to new and seasoned Notaries Public and Wedding Officiants and their clientele to improve service to each population.